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Project Tag: #canwetalkabouthis

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#CanWeTalkAboutThis

What debut authors don’t want to say, but thankfully many have, is that the first year after publication is hard. I felt elated and anxious; fulfilled and yet in constant anticipation; proud for beating the odds and guilty for not being perpetually grateful. For an introvert, I talked a hell of a lot this year. In public. About the book, yes, but also about myself. Entering any stage is a step towards scrutiny. An honour that requires a vulnerability, which has a weight. To lighten that weight, and to lighten up, I spent a few days amidst the desert, the sea, the mangroves, the kingfishers, the crows, the turtles, the gazelles - returning to a pace and place that seemed to relish in its quiet, quite like I do. This is so much of why I wrote my novel. To speak to the soul of the story with strangers; to represent the diaspora experience of the UAE in literature; to shatter the assumptions made about migrants, about women, about the spaces inside of us and out. What a bloody honour to do so in the company of these creative minds: fellow authors, readers, poets, adventurers and childhood friends @emirateslitfest This is the shortest answer I had to that big question on writing motherhood. This is my way of saying I’m a writer, a conservationist, a minimalist, and an adoptive parent who is trying to consume less and create more (is there a bigger contradiction to that than being on social media?!) All credit for this post goes to @karishma31 who tells me the hard truths in straightforward sentences, and who once saved my life by doing so. I didn’t start the novel thinking about how I’d write female characters. It was only after creating them that I understood how much they needed me to strip them of the assumptions society had imposed, even in a fictional world. ‘Don’t ask children what their drawings are of; don’t try to make sense of their art’ - this was the sage advice I got from my artist friend @sofiya.shukhova (who heard it from her father, also an artist). The accusation of women being selfish when they make unconventional choices persists across generations. This was one of many insightful questions I was asked by audiences across events - answering them is my favourite part of any session. I resisted posting these photos, because the energetic India tour reminded me of the value of engaging face to face. Not only meeting these wonderful other debut authors, but in being able to sense their resilience, and their joy, from their body language. Feeling solidarity while silently sitting beside each other on a stage. Having a conversation where sharing insecurities is not a threat.
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