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Uttama

u̇-təm-ä

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Project Type: nonfiction

A Mind for Another Time

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This is the shortest answer I had to that big question on writing motherhood. This is my way of saying I’m a writer, a conservationist, a minimalist, and an adoptive parent who is trying to consume less and create more (is there a bigger contradiction to that than being on social media?!) All credit for this post goes to @karishma31 who tells me the hard truths in straightforward sentences, and who once saved my life by doing so. I didn’t start the novel thinking about how I’d write female characters. It was only after creating them that I understood how much they needed me to strip them of the assumptions society had imposed, even in a fictional world. ‘Don’t ask children what their drawings are of; don’t try to make sense of their art’ - this was the sage advice I got from my artist friend @sofiya.shukhova (who heard it from her father, also an artist). The accusation of women being selfish when they make unconventional choices persists across generations. This was one of many insightful questions I was asked by audiences across events - answering them is my favourite part of any session. I resisted posting these photos, because the energetic India tour reminded me of the value of engaging face to face. Not only meeting these wonderful other debut authors, but in being able to sense their resilience, and their joy, from their body language. Feeling solidarity while silently sitting beside each other on a stage. Having a conversation where sharing insecurities is not a threat. I used the final page of this today, a @kokuyostationery I’ve had for 4 years. Up until this grey, no-frills journal, I used to have heaps of beautiful unused ones: one for ideas, one for novel planning, one for life admin, one for travel, and on and on. I’ve been chasing what I discreetly photographed here: the serenity of moments when you are not being watched. Sometimes I feel claustrophobic just looking at my own Instagram grid.
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